5 Tips to Land Your Dream Job

 Have you found your dream job? That one thing that makes you look forward to Monday mornings? That activity that has you WILLINGLY give 50, 60, 70, or even 80 hours per week with no complaint because you love it? Have you found it yet?

If not, then keep reading. I’m going to give you some tips on how to find your dream job. If you have found it, then keep reading anyway… because, I mean… you’re already here. So here they are. The five tips to land your dream job:

  1. I have no idea
  2. I have no idea
  3. I have no idea
  4. I have no idea
  5. I HAVE NO IDEA!

Does that mean that I hate my job? Nope, not necessarily. What it means is that I hate working… like, a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not lazy. I just feel like whoever came up with the idea that people should work 8-10 or more hours for five or more days per week year after year from their early twenties until their mid-late 60s deserves to be punched squarely in the face. In high school I used to tell my parents how bad I wanted to have an after-school job. My dad would always tell me to chill (in so many words), saying that I had the rest of my life to work. I get it now. Somewhere in my second or third year of full-time employment, I got it.

My real dream job is retirement. I don’t want to wait until I’m well into my 60s to finally start enjoying life. How whack is that?! There’s got to be a way to earn enough to be happy and still have time during the day to be free, right? I’ve really given this a lot of thought. The first new career path that comes to mind is to turn to a life of crime. I could get out in these streets and push this weight. Sell these rocks. Rob people. It would grant me the freedom to be outside more, choose my own hours, and be my own boss. But do I really want to be in the business of creating more crackheads? Can I really see myself taking other people’s hard earned cash? I don’t think I can. Not to mention a life of crime is likely to lead to prison time. And despite my abundant amount of gangsta, I’m not about that life. My joint is exit only, and I’m not nearly scary enough to effectively enforce that rule if I’m locked up behind that wall… So a life of crime is out.

Another option is to find a sugar mama. Find a single, wealthy woman who is willing to fund my various business ideas and sponsor me as I vacation in the Cayman Islands for months at a time. And if she’s fine, I’d even allow her to vacation with me. This would be a dope hook-up, but it could go wrong too. What if she’s crazy? What if she’s overbearing? What if she came in to her money by her dad doing weird stuff for the mob, and we spend our lives on the run trying not to swim with the fishes? What if she has jacked up feet? Dealbreakers…

The last option that I’ll talk about today is entrepreneurship. It’s probably the most realistic of the three. I need a side hustle that I can turn into an a gang of passive income. I need to figure some things out.

Until next time…

-Erik (@WalkSays)

 

About Author

Erik Walker

Erik is black.

6 Comments

    • ruth
      May 16, 2013

      I’ve given this topic a lot of thought and have settled on the 3rd one as well. That, or find me a rich man to marry. Still weighing my options. This cannot be my life for the next 30 years 🙁

      Reply
      • Erik
        May 16, 2013

        That’s such a ridiculously long time… *slams head on desk*

        Reply
        • ruth
          May 16, 2013

          Right! Why don’t you and I come up with a business together? It has to guarantee a lot of money though…I know- rent em spoons!

    • Deshawn
      May 17, 2013

      Dude, I Couldn’t Agree More. Working Sux, I’d Much Rather Be Spending Time In prayer, Doing The Lords Work, Or Spending Time With Family

      Reply
    • lii
      May 18, 2013

      Buy a franchise. . Put in a couple of years. .. hire management… then pursue hobbies and prayer full-time lol

      Reply
    • lii
      May 18, 2013

      Better yet … find the next big city development. .buy a parking lot right next to it… charge nyc price… have self pay and SKIP management. … just come back every couple of years to repaint the white lines. .. yup sounds good to me

      Reply

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