Don’t Do This Bro

Two weeks, two high profile (albeit one more high profile than the other) took to social media to public shame their significant others. I guess this is a thing in 2014 now. Back in my day when you had a problem with your lady it was between you, her and whoever else was muted on three-way. Word traveled slowly, but now the hyper speed of the internet means more people than who…yanno actually care can know about every intimate detail of your life in a matter of seconds.

 

But why is this a thing? Why do certain individuals feel the need to, as my mother would say, bring the entire world into your bedroom? (1)  Men especially. When did it become okay to so easily expose your woman? This has to be a new phenomenon, right? I really hate 2014 sometimes.

Look, fellas I get it, you’re hurt. You got done wrong. You’re living the male version of a Jazmine Sullivan song, but you gotta understand that while public shaming isn’t anyone’s place. It especially ain’t yours, brethren. Unfortunately for us, when we get played, we gotta stay off social media, put on some Oran “Juice” Jones, and go repeatedly lift some heavy weights over our heads.

If you insist, however, on staying on social media Ill give you three things you can post about instead of your, old cheating woman.

Discuss Who The Best Rapper Is

The old tried and true topic of conversation. This topic has been debated in countless dorm rooms, barbershops, and basketball courts by the dudes who aint get picked up. Instead posting who your woman may or may not be smanging, just talk about who’s beats are banging.

Discuss Your Favorite Sports Team

The other go to small talk topic. Everyone has a dog in the fight…in some fight. Even if you don’t like the sport in season, you like some sport in a season. Lakers, Cowboy, and Yankee hatred is acceptable year round. If you really don’t like sports, just discuss soccer.

Nearly Anything Else

Dawg, instead of talking about who your girlfriend was creeping with, save yourself some dignity and discus nearly anything else.

Welp, that’s all I got. I hope this helps.

 

 

  1. (Actually my mother would never say this because she isnt an old black woman in an Unsolved Mysteries dramatization)

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Chris

I'm a thirty year old man who likes Medicine For Melancholy.

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