So today (October 8, 2015) marks my parents’ 38th wedding anniversary. 38 freakin years. That’s a long time, bruh. I mean, that’s 365 days times 38, plus a day for each leap year in there. According to my calculations, that’s 78 kajillion days. That’s love, man. That’s commitment. And as their favorite son, I can tell you that they make a great combo. As I thought about that, it got me thinking of some other great combos that have made Earth that much more… awesome…er.
10. Peanut butter and jelly. What’s a childhood without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? I mean, there was a time in my life when I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch every freakin day. And why? Because PBJ goes hard. It still goes hard. In fact, I may or may not have eaten PBJ for dinner a few
hundred times even as an adult on nights I don’t feel like cooking… which is every night. The fact is that whoever decided to put peanut butter and jelly together was crazy, but the good kind of crazy. Genius crazy. Think more Kanye and less that dude that was eating that homeless gentleman’s face several years ago.
9. Beyonce and Jay-Z. Somehow the two of them got together and became bigger than they were separately. Every black woman wants to be them. All of them. Name a black woman that doesn’t want to be them, and I’ll use my best Kevin Durant voice to call you a liar. Speaking of…
8. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook. Thunder up, cuh. The only reason these two aren’t higher on the list is that to date they’ve been Scott Brooks’d and James Harden’d out of an NBA Championship. I just hope they both stay in OKC until forever and win one or twelve.
7. Jerry Rice and Joe Montana/Steve Young. It’s because of them that the San Francisco 49ers are my favorite NFL team to this day. It’s also their fault that I’m still a San Francisco 49ers fan to this day. They suck. I mean, they were just in the Super Bowl an hour and a half ago. Now, I’m just sitting over here wondering how the wheels fell off the wagon so fast… Smh. Freakin 49ers. I blame Jerry Rice and Joe Montana/Steve Young.
6. Andre 3000 and Big Boi. Because Outkast was good at music.
5. Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell. I mean, they were a great combo until Stringer Bell became all Stringer Bell-ery and sold his boy out, had Avon’s nephew killed, and started bangin his baby’s moms. Up until that point, they had a model friendship, proving that choosing a life of crime will only make your best friends even bester friends.
4. Kirk Franklin and “the Family”. “Silver and Gold”? “Melodies From Heaven”? “Why We Sing”? “The Night That Christ Was Born”? …Man, c’mon. They put out classics, B. Kirk can flat out write.
3. Turkey and [good] dressing. Bruh… Ok, so I’m a morbidly obese person at heart. And Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, hands down. And it’s SOLELY because of the turkey and dressing… Oh, and family.
2. TV’s and remotes. Believe it or not, there was a time when one of these things existed without the other. When I was really young, I can remember actually being the remote for my parents. It was a dark time. Seriously, I don’t think the sun used to come up back then. It was dark. Then remotes were invented, and the sun started coming up. True story.
1. Rainy days and the bed. Fake scientific studies have shown that the toughest thing for a human being to do is to get out of bed on a rainy, dreary day. Why? I have no idea. But it’s like the rain and the grayness of outside adds a thousand pounds to your body. You know you need to get up; you know you have to get up (because how else are you gonna make these checks?). But the bed just be calling you. Much like a crack rock. Your bed is crack, and the bleak, grayness is the pipe… I no longer know what I’m talking about.
I say all that to say this: my parents are great. Oh, and don’t be a 49ers fan. Or a Lions fan. Dear, God, the Lions suck.