Growing Out of Single-Life

At what age do men and women start to seriously look for companionship? As I enter my thirties I’ve noticed that the conversations have changed from carelessly dating to settling down. Should we all be concerned about the possibility of finding the one?

I was recently reading about how it’s harder for women to find someone after the age of thirty. If someone is still single at that age they’re likely to end up alone than find someone. However, many millennials are spending more of their time working on their careers and holding off on starting a family.

During a recent girls night, one of my friends who’s in her early thirties said that she recently started to worry about finding a man. She’s been successful in her career but not in relationships. After trying dating sites and speed dating, she’s ready to give up.

My coworker, who’s in her mid-thirties, has tried websites and Craigslist to find love. She’s even made up a fake boyfriend because she believes that men want you more if they hear that you are taken. She feels that no one wants someone who’s single because something may be wrong with you and you’re not desirable.

So when did it become a bad thing to be single?  Also, why is there so much pressure on people to pair up that we will go to such great lengths for companionship? The problem isn’t with our age, but the mindset that being single equates to something negative.

I love how blogger/author Mandy Hale defines it – saying that being single means that you were not willing to settle for any less that what you deserve. Instead of playing games or seeking out every eligible single in our area we should let love find us. When you take away the urgency and stop searching, what you’re looking for finds you.

Why should we settle for being in just any relationship? The bases of our relationship status doesn’t change based on our age or when we want it to.  When it’s our time the moment will present itself and all will fall into place.

-Jen (@IAmJennDiva)


    • ruth jeremiah
      January 6, 2016

      Very well said. I truly believe it’s especially hard on us women to become content with this state of life. We are often bombarded by questions and concerns about when we are going to get married and have children because “you know you’re not getting any younger…” and this puts so much pressure on us. Until we realize this is a state of life that He has us in and that it is not necessarily a punishment we will continue to jump the gun and go to the extremes of making up boyfriends and resorting to Craigslist (of all places) to change this state of life. JMHO.

      • Jen Baker
        January 22, 2016

        Thank you! I know that some days I’m fine with being single and other days I wish I had someone to hang out with. At the same time my schedule is so busy that I would feel bad not dedicating the time to maintaining a relationship. I also agree with you about the questions because it’s something that comes up with my family, especially during the holiday season when we are all together. I think that it’s something that one has to be content with and it’s a time where we have to learn about ourselves. The self discovery helps us learn about who we are and what we want to go and look for that in others.

        Yes, she was doing the most with looking on Craigslist. Since I personally know her I can say that it stems from desperation and lack of self worth in her case. So I’m just praying she will not do anything that dangerous again.


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