Let’s Talk About Marriage, pt. 1
I’ll let you in on a little secret, there has been a little talk about marriage around Tha Well here lately. No, there haven’t been any rings bought (at least I don’t think), but just general discussion about the first ministry. What I decided to do is answer some questions about marriage, seeing how my wife and I have beaten the national average; our 5-year anniversary was in August (studies show after 3.5 years, it’s usually over).
So to gloat on this accomplishment, and to give some insight to some who may be considering making the choice to get married, my wife and I are going to answer some questions. Sources for these questions are *gulp* Oprah.com, Connact.com and questions from friends.
1. Why did you want to get married?
Marsena D. Craig: I grew up in a home with two married parents that made marriage look easy (still do after 33 years) and I wanted that family unit. It’s also nice to have a partner to share in the ups and downs of life. It feels natural.
Marcus A. Craig: It’s just like Chris Rock says; “you’re either married and bored, or single and lonely.” I did not want to be lonely. I found the perfect person for me, and decided to make it permanent.
2. Is marriage more fun than the single life?
MDC: Definitely! Believe it or not, my husband and I do have fun together. When you’re single you’re always trying to impress the other person and worrying if you did this or that right. When you’re married, it’s like us against the world with no inhibitions. Forget what others think, I love my baby and he loves me!
MAC: I don’t know how to answer that. I had fun when I was in college, but I also have fun with my wife.
3. What is the best and worst thing about marriage?
MDC: Best- The security of knowing that he loves me no matter what. Worst- compromising
MAC: Worse – learning how to share. Best – do I really need to say it?
4. How do you keep your marriage God centered?
MDC: Being involved at our church. Our pastor is really into helping married couples stay together and promoting a God centered marriage.
MAC: I try to be the spiritual leader of the home. It is tough, because it is still something I’m trying to adjust to. Praying together is a big key though.
5. What dreams or expectations did we have about married life?
MDC: I knew it wasn’t going to be like the Huxtables. I knew there would be real adjustments to make, and that they would take time. Meshing two different people together is not very easy, no matter how much you love them.
MAC: I really had no expectations. I just figured everything would be a little like the Cosby Show, a little Family Matters and some dysfunction thrown in too.
What irritates you most in my conduct? Your impatience.
6. When dating, at what point do you realize you are completely ready to get married?
MDC: When he proposed. I knew I wanted to be with him, and we had even talked about marriage a little, but I was totally surprised when he popped the question.
MAC: I think that moment came when I spent the summer in Wisconsin for my internship. We had been dating (off and on somewhat) for 5 years, and I just realized that I had met the person God meant for me. I didn’t see any reason not to get married.
7. What have you given up for me? How do you feel?
MDC: Not a thing. I know that whatever I desire I can have within our marriage. I’ll buy you a Skyline one day.
MAC: I gave up my dream of owning a Nissan Skyline. Responsibility…
8. At what times have you felt happiest together?
MDC: When we had our daughter, honeymoon, Sade concert, Puerto Rico, South Beach Miami
MAC: I feel we have had some of the happiest moments when we’ve gone on vacation. Our cruise was a really great time for us to just hang together with no worries.
9. What’s the closest you ever came to just walking away before marriage?
MDC: Marcus was a cheater!
MAC: I think I thought about walking away after I cheated on Marsy when we were dating. Yea, I was a cheater and I’m amazed she put up with me. I felt that she wouldn’t want anything to do with me anyways. Plus I made my whole family mad with my stupidity, and I just wanted to run away from everyone and everything.
10. What is the biggest advice you would give someone thinking about getting married?
MDC: Pray about it and have good pre-marriage counceling. Have somebody who’s going to give it to you straight. No sugarcoating!
MAC: My biggest advice is to not take the decision lightly. Pray on it and pray on it. Seek counsel, and get counseled as a couple. Marriage is such an adjustment in your lifestyle and mentality and takes a lot of acclimation. You should know as much as there is to know about your potential spouse, because this is your future. Til Death means til death!