One little known secret on how to keep a guy

For many guys relationships feel extremely one-sided. It is expected that the guy will shower a lady with compliments, flowers, candy, free dinners (dates), etc. Valentine’s Day may as well be a woman’s second birthday and/or second Christmas every year. It’s they guy’s responsibility to plan the perfect outing to show his love, trying each year to be more creative than he was the year prior. On the anniversary of a relationship’s start (whether marriage or dating), it’s up to the guy to find the best way to prove to her how important she is to him. When it’s time to propose, creativity is paramount. The pressure is on to find the most endearing and authentic way to proclaim his love (whether public or privately), making it a memorable story that he knows she will enjoy telling for the rest of their lives. And it’s already been established that the wedding itself is all about the bride. That’s not even debatable.

My point is that guys are expected to exert a ton of effort in relationships just to make sure that the woman feels appreciated. Am I complaining? Nope, not really. Sometimes it’s fun to plan a memorable date. Sometimes it’s fun to shoot her compliments or surprise her with flowers or gifts or even a surprise visit. Sometimes it’s fun to do everything you can to make her feel like she’s the most important person to you in the world. But it’s only fun when it’s appreciated. And it’s clear that it’s appreciated when it’s reciprocated.

It’s not talked about often, but guys like to be complimented too. We enjoy being caught by off-guard by random acts that show how much she cares. We enjoy feeling like we are the most desirable man she’s ever seen and that even if Idris Elba walks in the room, drops to a knee, and proposes to her that she’d still choose us over him (even if we both know it’s a downright lie).

The truth is that when those things are reciprocated, it makes it much easier on our part to continue to put in the effort to do them for her. It becomes a cycle somewhat akin to “paying it forward”. It’s so much more fun to show appreciation to someone who not only displays gratitude, but also repays that appreciation by doing the same.

So, ladies, don’t be afraid to buy your guy a card and fill it up with niceties. Don’t be afraid to send flowers and a small teddy bear to his office (keep it masculine, though). Don’t be afraid to tell him how handsome you think he is whenever it crosses your mind. I promise, it’ll go a long way… But, again, I’m not a relationship expert, I’m just sayin…

Until next time…

-Erik (@WalkSays)

*PS – About that Idris Elba line… I don’t care how much I love a woman. If I’m in a room and Sanaa Lathan walks in, I’m proposing on site. I’m a good enough dude to buy you a cab ride home though, so… you’re welcome.

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Erik Walker

Erik is black.

1 Comment

    • Ruthie
      September 20, 2013

      I started doing things for my boyfriend (at the time), and I know he appreicated it. I just wanted him to know that, I really loved him. It won’t hurt you ladies to cook a meal; after all, a way to his heart is through his stomach. “cook sometime”, doesn’t always have to be a meal out somewhere, or even money out of his pocket. Just show him you can cook (hopefully), if not, do his laundry or clean his house. These things will show ur appreciation and he will “LOVE” you for each kind gesture.


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