The Last Temptation of Chris

Against my better judgement, last night I saw Temptation in the theatre. Here are three quick things that are on my mind after my experience yesterday.

*****SPOILER ALERT***

Its terrible.

Observation #1
Jurnee Smollett-Bell is fine. She was the best part of the movie. Even her back and forth with Kim Kardashians “wooden and laconic” character couldn’t hamper the fact that Jurnee is a very good actress and should be a star.

Sidenote: her husband makes dope music too. I already hate their future children.

Observation #2
Black people really don’t shut up during movies. I had never experienced a movie eexperience.like this before. Granted, I generally avoid black movies, but I figured it couldn’t be as bad as folks made it to be.

Its worse.

Folks were holding entire conversations about the movie. DURING THE MOVIE. Oh, and not in some inside considerate voice, nah folks were basically screaming.

Observation #3
I haven’t seen many Tyler Perry movies but the couple I have seen lack nuance.

I have no problem with Perry’s ability to make movies. His movies look, sound and feel like any other feel. Technically, he’s got it down. He’s talented.

Where things go bad for me is the heavy handedness he tells his stories. Tyler Perry movies have to explain in detail everything going on in detail. If a character is a doctor, the audience isn’t allowed to figure it out on their own. Tyler makes sure you know what’s going on at all times. Maybe he doesn’t think his audience is smart enough to follow.

Shoot, maybe he just doesn’t think they can hear over the idle chatter.

I couldn’t call myself a Perry fan. I am an admirer. Where he’s come.from, to where he is, is remarkable and inspiring.

But until he learns how.to be more subtle, I probably wont enjoy any of his movies.

-Chris

About Author

Chris

I'm a thirty year old man who likes Medicine For Melancholy.

17 Comments

    • Ruth Jeremiah
      April 8, 2013

      I have told myself I will watch another Perry film and the more I hear about it the more I stand by that conviction. Can’t hate that he’s giving black actors and actresses jobs, though.

      Reply
    • Erik
      April 8, 2013

      I left the theater feeling much, much dumber. All his movies are so predictable that it’s insulting for me to think that he doesn’t believe that they’re predictable! I think you’re right. He assumes that his audience comes to the theater via the short bus.

      Reply
    • Erik
      April 8, 2013

      Btw, Jurnee Smollett-Bell is fine, but her arms really made me wish she’d eat a tray of sandwiches… Like, the whole tray.

      Reply
      • Chris
        April 8, 2013

        Personally, I have no problem with skinny or thick. The crazy thing is, she looks just like she did on Full House. I feel like R. Kelly typing that.

        Reply
      • Chris
        April 8, 2013

        Just trying to spend time with a friend. I’m.only going to watch “black” movies at home from now on.

        Reply
    • Marcus
      April 8, 2013

      The fact that you had to base a liking of his movie based on the attractiveness of the actresses is telling. Heck, I do it. “Good Deeds” is only watchable because of Thandie Newton. The “Married” movies, Sharon Leal. “I Can Do Bad?” Tariji. It’s a horrible trend for his movies

      Reply
      • Ruth Jeremiah
        April 8, 2013

        That was one of the very few reasons I used to watch his movies. With this movie- Lance Gross. But even his face won’t compel me to spend my dollars.

        Lol @ the whole tray of sandwiches.

        Reply
    • lii
      April 8, 2013

      The title to ur article is hillllarious…but in true Perry form u know you’ll have to write a part II to this..haha

      Reply
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    • Laurent
      April 9, 2013

      This is How bad it was, the night the movie premiered I received two texts and a PHONE CALL telling me DO NOT under ANY circumstances go and see this movie. What hit me is that the people that went to see it hate Tyler Perry movies but somehow always seem to get drug to them. it’s really almost a peer pressure thing.
      Scenario
      Person 1: Yo did u see the preview for the new Tyler Perry movie?
      Person 2: sigh, yeah but I am NOT goin to see . I’m done with dude.
      Person 1: I don’t know, this one looks like it might be good. I think I might see it.
      Person 2: don’t do it! it’ll be wack I’m tellin u.
      Person 1: aw c’mon it can’t be that bad, such and such is in and at least he’s black actors work right?
      Person 2: yeah. u right.
      Person 1: so you’ll see it with me?
      Person 2: *sighs reluctantly* Fine

      Reply
    • Erika
      April 9, 2013

      He spends too much time building a the storyline then when the big “twist” is revealed the movie ends within 10-15 minutes….Also, has anyone noticed that he is much harsher on his female characters? I’m positive he hates us (totally different subject altogether)

      Reply
      • Erik
        April 10, 2013

        You think so? He does tend to cast a neglectful woman who is also on crack/cocaine, but I still think he’s rougher on guys. In every one of his movies there is a dude that is unspeakably, and unbelievably evil for no reason. Even in this movie, one was evil while the other was just incredibly lame. I think he drives guys into the ground harder… Maybe he hates us all… except for our money. Hmmm…

        Reply
        • Erika
          April 10, 2013

          My sister said the same thing regarding his male characters…Either they are super lame or super evil with a one way ticket to hell. Ok so lets agree that he is an extremist when it comes to the personalities of his characters…The women are nearly always nieve or broken while the males are lame/evil. I’m going to need Mr. Perry to find a happy medium in the future. It should be noted that yes, I have seen more than 1 Tyler Perry movie but it was TOTALLY due to peer pressure #don’tjudgeme. I do also read and an familar with foreign policy lol

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