The One Where I Get Run Off The Court

Never feels good to get run off a basketball court. Hi, Mavericks.

It especially doesn’t feel good when its the lowest division of rec league basketball. However, this is what happened to me not 6 hours ago.

I like to think of myself as a top 25% basketball player in the world1. I don’t say this as a way to brag or make myself look good.2 I’m just trying to convey to you how serious I take basketball and how good I believe I am at it. In fact, people3 often say I play just like Michael.4

Still, here I was dribbling at half court with six minutes left in the game and my team was down 90-50. We could have used every excuse in the book for this game; we didn’t have enough players, the other team was taller, somebody on the team forgot their sneakers at home so I had to play in Stacy Adams, but the reason we lost was simple.

We didn’t lose because the other team outworked us to every loose ball. We didnt lose because we didn’t have enough heart. In fact, we had more heart than, Secretariat5, Tim Tebow, and that little kid from Angels In The Outfield combined.

Never that. We simply lost because…

The refs didn’t like us.


  1. When I say top 25% I mean of all the people in the entire world. Those who play basketball regularly and also including those who have never heard of basketball,
  2. Check my Christian Mingle dating profile for that.
  3. Me
  4. Michael Davidson, an pharmacist at Tom Thumb down the street. He can really shoot.
  5. Too soon?

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I'm a thirty year old man who likes Medicine For Melancholy.

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