A Woman’s Perspective: “To Prenup or Not to Prenup, That is the Question”
**Today’s post is a guest post contributed by a fan of ThaWell**
A prenuptial agreement, by general definition is an agreement/contract that is entered into pre-marriage or civil union. The content of the prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but is intended to give up future rights of each other’s property and spousal support in the event of divorce, breakup of marriage or death.
Prenuptial agreements also vary from state to state, county and even religion. Some states/counties recognize prenuptial agreements as legal contracts, while others view them as civil. Other counties/states allow prenuptial agreements, but limit what can be included, and others will not/do not enforce the contract. In some religions, prenuptial agreements are an integral part of the marriage and are even read and signed during the marriage ceremony. Other religions view prenups as being outside the vision of marriage, the “covenant” (not contract) of marriage is “one-flesh” with traditional wedding vows of certain religions including “with all my worldly goods I thee endow.”
Ok, now that the facts have been covered, let’s have an ordinary conversation. Why is it that when prenups are discussed, it’s assumed that it is the man that needs to protect his assets? What about mine! What about a Woman’s assets!
While more and more men are sitting home playing video games and refusing to work or wanting to be the stay at home dad, so they don’t have to work, all result in the women being the bread winners. Women should begin protecting their assets and insisting on prenups themselves!! “We Want Prenup, We Want Prenup!!” In the words of Kanye West’s song, Gold Digger.
With that being said, I also believe that I am not privy to my “husband’s” assets acquired pre marriage. I had no hand in his pre-marriage successes, or lack thereof; therefore they should remain his and his alone. Now if he “chooses” to share premarital asserts with me… “Momma Ain’t Raise No Fool”!
I recently told a girlfriend, I would sooner burn my house to the ground before I allowed anyone to take it! Now, while I was being silly and extreme, that’s how much my house means to me and how strongly I feel about the subject. I worked awfully hard to achieve my personal goal, with help from no one. I also have memories in my home with someone that has since transitioned. So is it so bad that I want to protect what I worked hard for? Or a place where irreplaceable memories took place?
This not to say, should the marriage dissolve, you leave with what you and you alone brought in. It is my opinion that this is not even possible; a couple should acquire more during the course of the marriage. Both parties should leave with what you came in with, in addition to assets acquired during the marriage, whether or not you specifically earned them. In a marriage someone is always compromising and or sacrificing. For example, if the husband is always at work and the wife is home, whether she be cooking, cleaning, caring for the family or just plain old sitting there, she is sacrificing. Even if the sacrifice was time, one should be entitled to compensation, if and or when the marriage dissolves the assets should be divided as the parties deem appropriate at that time.
Some would argue, if a prenuptial agreement is requested, should one even be entering marriage. Why do you need a prenuptial agreement? Do you not trust your partner? He/she should be privy to all of your assets. If you say you love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, Love will conquer all. All you need is Love. Love will not drain the bank account or take all of your property.
Is this true?
It is my opinion that prenuptial agreements surmise to whether the soon to be wed parties are viewing the prenuptial agreement emotionally (feelings) or rationally (intelligent). Many would argue that the women would look at the prenup “emotionally”; if you truly love me you would not want a prenup or why don’t you trust me. While, the man would see the prenup as “rational”, if you truly loved me, then you would have no problem signing a prenup, my money or assets would not matter to you.
So the question remains to prenup or not to prenup? With the American population marrying later in life, gaining assets prior to taking vows and with the divorce rate at an all time high of fifty percent; One would reason that the smarter choice is to sign a prenuptial agreement before entering the contact of marriage, in an effort to protect what has already been acquired prior to marrying Mr. or Mrs. Right.
At the close of the day, whether we care to admit it, or whether it is male or female, we all share the fairy tale of meeting someone and falling in love. We look forward to engagement and entering a marriage, union, contract or covenant, where an infinite amount of love, respect, trust, and security exist and there would be no accommodations for thought of a prenuptial agreement. A comfy space where you would know both emotionally and rationally that divorce/separation is not an option.
To Prenup or Not To Prenup? You Decide…
Just my thoughts and opinions,