What’s wrong with _______?
Hi. Today’s post is going to be a little bit different. There are a lot of things wrong here on earth. I’m going to fill in the blanks with some of my own topics, and then answer the question for you by telling you what’s wrong. If you’d like, you can leave me your own questions in the comment section and I’ll answer those as well. Let’s go…
What’s wrong with the welfare system in America? Obviously, I don’t know all the details, but I think it has some fundamental problems. For some people who truly need welfare, working jobs that pay the minimum is not in their best interest. It’s possible to earn too much to get welfare and still be unable to handle your expenses. That’s a problem.
What’s wrong with the Twilight Series? I’ll admit, I’ve seen all of these movies except the last one. I saw them because I was forced to by a former girlfriend (the first two) and my mom (the third one). There is plenty wrong with this series. Since when has a vampire glimmered in the sunlight instead of burning up and dying? Since when has a werewolf been able to choose when he becomes a wolf? Why is a moderately attractive girl (at best) so desired by EVERYONE? Why does nothing happen in the third movie? …The answer to what’s wrong with Twilight is buried somewhere in the confusion that comes with those questions.
What’s wrong with a little bump n’ grind? If you’re asking this question, I’m going to assume that you are R. Kelly. Well, Mr. R, there is a whole lot wrong if she’s 12. You gotta chill.
What’s wrong with injesting copious amounts of heroine? Well, do you enjoy having teeth? Do you enjoy not looking/smelling/being homeless? Do you enjoy eating food on a daily basis? If your answer to any or all of these questions is no, then have at it, champ. It’s all yours.
What’s wrong with politics in this country? Two answers: politicians and money. Nobody believes anything anymore unless someone with deep pockets can convince them to believe it. That’s not what was intended when this democracy was set up.
What’s wrong with people choosing not to bathe everyday? I guess this one depends on intent. People who smell like they want to be alone tend to be alone. I, personally, don’t keep friends that smell like feet. If you choose to go about your life smelling like yesterday, by all means, go for it. Just don’t expect me to be standing next to you. You go stink somewhere else.
What’s wrong with the New York Jets? They suck.
What’s wrong with the Kansas City Chiefs? The Jets would beat them by 20.
What’s wrong with Sarah Palin? Nothing. Sarah Palin is one of the most brilliant thinkers of our time… Yeah, just kidding. She’s just an idiot.
What’s wrong with putting salt in your grits? Everything. It tastes like crap. Put some sugar in your grits like a normal person, and start your day right. *Under my breath* Gonna ask me about putting some salt in grits… Please.
What’s wrong with looking for a spouse at the club? Well, I’ve never been an avid club goer. I hate those joints. As a dude, I can tell you that guys don’t go to clubs looking for girls they can wife. That’s why the girls that get the most attention are the most scantily clad. Why would anyone seek a spouse in a place that’s absent of adequate lighting? Kinda important. You could meet a girl with a great personality and not know that she’s a lady sasquatch until much later when the lights come on. Doesn’t sound fun.
What’s wrong with child obesity? I hate seeing overweight kids. I put that blame squarely on parents. I’ve vowed for years that I will not have fat kids. I won’t. Video game time will be limited, and those little suckas will be outside running often. We’ll exercise as a family. Whatever it takes. I WILL NOT HAVE FAT KIDS.
If you’ve got any more questions that I can answer (ridiculous or serious), leave them in the comment section.
Until next time…